


Not Yours

by reinventlxve



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Almost smut, Anxiety, Drinking, Drugs, F/M, Religion, Sexual Content, Suicide mention, drunk, nothing too graphic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6357379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinventlxve/pseuds/reinventlxve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Religious, hot, and" he paused and picked up my right hand. "A virgin"</p><p>I drew my hand back quickly and stood up straighter. </p><p>"What's wrong with that?" I asked defiantly. </p><p>"Nothing. It makes you sexier" </p><p>-----<br/>Trigger warning/things handled in this fic: religion, defying parents rules, drugs, underage drinking, underage sex (not over 18/minor). (I don't hate Sarah, I love her with all my heart. I just needed a character</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is also on wattpad.

When I was twelve, my mother and father gave me a purity ring. 

They sat me down, and pulled a rosy pink velvet box out of a small, tissue papered bag. I was intrigued, first because it was obviously a present, and secondly because it was not Christmas, or my birthday, and I was sure it wasn't a special occasion, so why was I receiving a present? 

My mother opened the velvet box to reveal a gold ring with beautiful minuscule diamonds set in the top. It was gorgeous. Fit for a queen. 

My mother then went on a long tangent about what the ring symbolized, what promise I was making as my father slipped the gorgeous ring on the fourth finger on my right hand.

But as everyone says, promises are made to be broken.

\------  
-Amyy


	2. Chapter one: Breezy and the Assholes

Getting out of bed in the morning is like the worst thing in the world. 

Getting out of bed in the morning on a weekend at 7:00 am is even worse.

But, my parents insist on us going to Church every Sunday, and I don't wanna disappoint them. I've done enough of that already. 

So I throw myself out of my comfortable, beloved bed, and walk to my closet. 

\----

Once I'm decent, my long, red church dress with the hoop skirt on, I slide on my small heels, and I'm out the door with my mother and father leading the way to the car.

The car ride was boring, no one talked. 

 

We sat down, in the second row of pews in my family's church, awaiting the arrival of the pastor.

A loud yell of what sounded like a mix of joy and terror sounded from behind the pews. 

All of the people sitting turned to the back of the church, to see a group of well known boys.

I knew who they were, everyone who has ever attended our house of worship knows them. They're trouble makers. That's all I know.

I don't know their names, I don't know why they are still allowed in the church. 

I've only ever seen them from afar.

"Those damn kids" the older woman in the pew in front of me said, and I, along with my parents, turned around to face her. 

"Who are they?" I speak up before my parents do. 

"The one who screamed was Dallon Weekes. Sweet boy, bless him. Got pulled into a horrid group of kids." She shook her head disappointedly.

"The other kids with him, though, are Spencer Smith, Kenny Harris, and Brendon Urie"

I recognized the first name. Spencer Smith was in my schools band class. He won best drummer at our school last year. 

"Oh" is all I say, before turning back toward the kids to see what they were doing.

I see that they had pulled the podium off the stage and to the back of the church and we're taking turns standing on it and leaning to see who could stay like that the longest. Stupid boys.

My staring is cut short when one of the boys turns and looks at me silently judging them.

I quickly turn back around and pay attention to the conversation going on between my mother and the old woman in the first row.

Only five minutes later the pastor came out and began his sermon. 

\--

We began our drive home, and my parents began their Sunday tradition of discussing the previous sermon. 

When we got home, we had breakfast, and I walked upstairs and changed out of my dress and into my jeans and a t shirt. Conservative. 

The day passed by uneventfully, breakfast, chores, lunch, chores, dinner.

When my mom called me from cleaning her bathroom to the kitchen for dinner, I got to the table and washed my hands, my mother said "And why are you still in your house clothes, missy?" She looked extremely angry with me.

"Why can't I wear my house clothes to dinner?" I asked, not understanding why she was angry.

"You have a meeting with the pastor tonight, remember? My heavens, Katherine, you just can't see to remember anything!" 

"I'm sorry Mother. I'll go get dressed now." And I rushed up the stairs once again to put on my church dress.

I was dressed up, hair curled, and fed before my father told me to walk to the church. The church wasn't that far from my house, but it was cold.

I threw on my coat, deciding not to argue, and began my journey.

When I arrived at the Church. I realized it was dark, and it looked closed. But I went up to the window anyway.

I knocked on the glass door.

"No ones here, babydoll" a voice startled me, and I jumped slightly, turning to face a dark haired girl leaned up against the church. She was wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans that were ripped at the thigh and a jacket that was also very slim and low cut, revealing enough cleavage to make a man sin.

"Oh, okay." I walked toward her, "my names Katherine. Yours?" I didn't want to be impolite. 

"Breezy." She replied simply, "so, since you've got nothing to do, wanna hang with a few of my friends?" She asked.

Well, if they were by a church, they can't be sinning, right?

"Sure"

We walked around, to the back door of the church, and entered. It, strangely enough, was open. 

"Hey, guys!" Breezy yelled, "we have a guest!"

"Oh really" I heard.

We walked into the sermon room, to find a group of boys sitting in a circle.

I recognized them from this morning.

"Yo, that's the hot girl I saw this morning! Good find, Breezy!" One of them said, not Spencer, I knew. 

Breezy grabbed my hand and pulled me to the circle and we sat in between two boys I didn't know.

"So, I'm Dallon, that's Kenny, Spencer, and that's Brendon."

The one he pointed to when he said, 'Brendon' was leaned up against a wall, passed out.

He was attractive, his brown hair flopped messily down the front of his face. His lips were the pinkest and most beautifully shaped I had ever seen.

"He's piss drunk" Spencer explained.

"I'm Katherine" I said timidly, not sure if following Breezy was a good decision.

"Ah, a name to put to that sexy ass rack" Dallon said. 

I had never heard such filthy words fall from a mans mouth, so I gasped, and they chuckled.

I guess we had been too loud, because we woke up Brendon.

"Yo, what the fuck is going on" and I gasped again. 

"Oh shit" he said as his eyes locked onto mine and then drifted downward.

"Nice. Where'd ya get her?" He said, like I was an object.

"The front doors"

He scoffed, then stood. He motioned for me to do the same.

So I did, and we stood facing each other.

"Religious, hot, and" he paused and picked up my right hand. "A virgin"

I drew my hand back quickly and stood up straighter.

"What's wrong with that?" I asked defiantly.

"Nothing. It makes you sexier" 

|||  
Wow first part done. Thanks to those who persuaded me to write this. Love ya! *cough* ari *cough*

\- amyy


	3. Telling Jesus I was Hug-Raped

I gasped, no one was supposed to judge how 'sexy' I was until I was married. 

 

I stepped away from Brendon, disgusted by the comment. 

"You are disrespectful and a pig! You have no right to say those things in a house of worship!" My anger kicked in. What was a group of troublesome kids doing in a church late at night? 

"Shhhh, sweetheart" he pressed his finger to his lips, "I've got a headache." 

"No I will not be quiet! And I don't mind your headache, it's your fault you're drunk!" 

He walked toward me quickly, and pressed his liquor coated lips onto mine. 

 

He kissed me. 

I had never been kissed before in my life, and, despite the strong taste and smell of the liquor, it wasn't bad at all.

 

I didn't know how to kiss, so I didn't, I just stood there and let him kiss my lips. 

 

He drew back, almost falling backwards, before I reached out and caught him, balancing him once again. 

"Thanks, darling" he slurred. He must be really drunk. 

"Well, uh" I wiped my lips on my jacket sleeve, "I should, uh, get going then" 

 

"Oh no!" Brendon said, walking back toward me and placing his hands on my hips and pulling me up against his body, "stay a while babe" 

Heat immediately rushed to my cheeks, and I gasped lightly, making him chuckle. 

 

"Uh, Brendon, you should stop now" Breezy said, looking to the rest of the boys, who were all sitting down on the floor still, "you're extremely drunk."  
She looked worried. 

"Shhhh" Brendon tapped his temple lightly, "headache, remember?" 

"She's religious, dude" Spencer said, "she not gonna fuck you" 

Brendon shushed him once again and turned back to me, still locked awkwardly in his grasp.   
"You're a lot prettier than Sarah, you know" 

Does he has a girlfriend? Oh god, is that why Breezy is worried? 

"Uhh, thanks" I tried to wriggle out of his grasp, "but I should be getting home now..." I tried to escape for second, but he held me, laying his head on my shoulder. 

 

"Okay Brendon, let go of her" Kenny spoke for the first time, standing up and walking over to us, removing his hands from my hips. 

He pouted, and slumped, hanging his head. 

"Whatever, you'll come back at some point..." And he hiccuped, and stumble again, before Kenny walked him over to the wall, leaning him up against it once more. 

"Want me to walk you home?" Breezy said, standing up, the rest of the group following suit, "These meetings are no fun without Brendon sober enough to comprehend what's going on..." 

"Sure" she seemed nice enough. 

"Cool" she said, "someone get him home, his parents'll kill him if he ends up passed out with a hangover on the church floor." And Dallon sighed, going over to the passed out Brendon and helping the other two pick his limp body up. 

"Cmon" and we walked out of the church from the back door, and I was gonna hold the door open for the others, as they were carrying their drunk friend, but she motioned, 'come here', so I did, letting the door close behind me. 

We walked away from the church, and down the street toward my home, her following me slightly. 

I slackened my pace to meet her casual one, before asking, "What time is it?" 

"What you don't have a phone?" She asked. 

"I do, it's dead." I shrugged, looking at her expectantly. 

"8:35" she responded, putting her purple phone away. 

I mumble a thanks, before we fell into a comfortable silence. I found myself remembering the way Brendon's hands felt on my hips. Heat rushed to my cheeks once again at the memory. 

She looked over at me, and laughed a gorgeous sing-song laugh, "You won't admit it, but you enjoyed that" she chuckled again. 

She was right. I wasn't gonna admit it. 

"Why were you so worried about him doing that?" I asked. Did he have a girlfriend? 

"You're religious" she explained, "didn't want you crying off to Jesus 'bout you got hug raped by my friend"

I looked at her incredulously, that can't have been the reason.

"Really, Breezy, what's the reason?" I said, stopping in the road. What has he done wrong?

 

She sighed. "Why does this bother you so much?" She stopped also, turning to face my in the middle of the street. It was abandoned, nothing was gonna happen. 

 

"I don't know" I mumble. I didn't. 

She sighed again, and this time it was longer, more drawn out. She sounded defeated. 

 

"Brendon had this girlfriend...that's who Sarah is..." She stop, looking away. 

"Are they dating again?" I asked. 

"No." And I sighed in relief slowly, quietly. 

"But he wants to get back at her" she explained, "He wants to find a girl to 'date' to make her jealous. But he doesn't want to get back with her. I honestly don't know. It's confusing"

"Why doesn't he just get a new, real girlfriend?" This story was more complicated than it should have been. 

"He doesn't do relationships" and before I could ask, she continued.

"Sarah was the only exception. For some reason, she was his girlfriend. It started out just a fuck. Oh, sorry. Anyway, he slept with her, and then found himself completely infatuated with her. But, she called it quits with him for someone taller. To be honest, she was kind of a bitch. He just needs a couple good fucks, and to make her beg on her knees for him, and for him to once again tell a girl that he doesn't date." She shrugged, and I stayed silent. 

We arrived at my house a couple minutes later, the rest of the walk silent. 

As I walked up my small front porch, I turned back around and Breezy was walking off. "Hey Breezy?" I called to her. 

 

She turned back around and responded, "Yeah, Katherine?" 

 

"Wanna hang out next weekend?" 

 

"Yeah." She smiled. "Just show up at next weeks meeting!" 

"Will do! Bye!" 

"Bye!" And she chuckled, turning around walking off. 

|||

I quite like this chapter :)   
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!  
hope 2016 is the best yet for you!   
-amyy z

 

Edited- 12/15/15 by Amyy


	4. I Lose My 'V Card' to A Stoner Fuck Boy

When I walked in my house, my mother was sitting in the living room watching some movie. 

"How was the meeting?" She asked right as I walked in the door. 

"Great." I removed my jacket, hanging it on the coat rack. "He wants to meet same time next week" 

 

I lied to my mother. I never did that.

 

Her eyes got wide and she smiled. "My baby girl. The pastor likes you!" She came over and hugged me, "oh, I'm so proud"

"Thanks" and I hugged her back. 

\----

I'd like to say I ran into Breezy during the week and we hung out and I kissed Brendon again. 

But I'd be lying again, for the second time this week. 

No, I waited the long week until next Sunday, Brendon and Breezy never leaving my mind for any mind for more than a couple hours. 

\---

Sunday passed like the last, except I didn't see Brendon, Dallon, Spencer, or Kenny during the morning church service. 

 

And I found myself back at the front doors of the church. 

Once again Breezy was leaning up against the side, and I followed her to the back door. 

"Brace yourself, Brendon's sober." She said, placing her hand on the door knob. 

"Wait!" I whispered, "does he remember last week?" 

"No, but Dallon told him about it" and her eyes held sympathy. 

 

And we walked in without another word. 

"I brought the beauty back!" Breezy sing-songed as we walked into the sermon room. 

This time, they were sitting in chairs. 

Good improvement I guess. 

"Her?" Brendon yells in Dallon's face, and I blush. 

"Damn she's hot! Wish I remembered that!" 

And I blushed even harder. 

"Hi Katherine" Spencer said. 

"Katherine? Really?" He sighed. "Wish she had a sexy name to match her sexy ass"

I held back the shock. 

"Anyway" he said clearing his throat as Breezy and I took a seat across from the boys. 

"Breezy has been bugging me all damn week about letting you join our club. So, by popular demand, I'm allowing it.

"But, we have to change this" he gestured to me. 

"First your name." 

"My name?" I said, speaking to him coherently for the first time. 

"Yes" he said. "Now I'm assuming you want to keep it as similar to Katherine as possible, sooo..." 

"Kat?" Dallon said. 

Brendon hummed, looking at me. 

Did I want this?  
Joining their club meant changing my image. 

Going from church girl to sexy. 

And I was okay with that. 

I'd just have to hide it from my parents. 

"Sure" 

"Cool" 

"Clothes?" 

"She can have mine. Everyone knows I have enough" 

"Cool"

"Now we have to change one more thing" Brendon said. 

 

"What?"

"That purity ring"

\----  
"I can take it off" I said "but I can't break the promise i made" 

Breezy looked over at me with sympathy. "Sorry" she mouthed. 

"You're gonna have to" Brendon said, standing up, "this is where this gets complicated"

"You," Brendon began, "are hot. I am now single and vulnerable to the public eye. I need a fuck buddy to make people realize I don't go long periods of time without some pussy. And, we need to make Sarah jealous. You are gonna be my super sexy fuck buddy"

Strangely enough, this didn't bother me. 

"Okay" was all I could say. 

"So, we need to change the 'v status' " he said. 

"The 'v status?" I asked "What's that?" 

"You're virginity" Brendon said simply, coming over to me and taking my hand, forcefully pulling me out of the chair. 

"Oh"

He pulled me along a corridor until we got to the ladies restroom. Classy. 

"I am not" I stated, pulling my hand out of Brendon's grip, "going to lose my virginity in a damn bathroom" 

And that was the first time I ever said a cuss word. 

"Yes you are" and he pulled me inside. 

The thought of me losing my virginity to such an attractive man was blissful, and I had to breathe deeply to keep myself under control. 

He took no time in pushing me up against the closed door, and pressing his lips greedily onto mine. 

During the week I had watched a movie, and in the movie someone had kissed a boy. 

I kind of knew what to do. 

I moved my lips onto his, tilting my head right, as did he. I used my tongue to explore farther into his mouth. 

That was the first time I ever kissed someone. 

His hands ran over my torso, and mine ran through his hair, gripping tightly and pulling a bit. 

He moaned against my lips, sending vibrations through them straight to my south area. 

I instantly arched my back, pressing my body against his. 

He pulled away, looking into my eyes. 

His hair was a mess, his lips were swollen, and his eyes were harder, and darker. He was beautiful. 

His hands went to the neck hem of my dress, "may I?"

 

"Sure" I was still out of breath from the kiss. 

He put his hands on my waist, turning me against the wall. 

His warm, calloused hands grabbed my waist again, I imagined imprinting them on my skin forever. To never forget how the felt there. They fit perfectly. 

He took the zipper of my dress between his fingertips, and slowly, he slid it down. It was agonizing slow, and with every slow subtle click the zipper made, more heat rushed down to my core. I was afraid I was dripping by now. 

Once the dress was finally pooled at my ankles, I stepped out of it, kicking it to the side with my heels.

"Beautiful" he mumbled as his eyes raked over my nearly-naked body. 

I blushed, before walking closer to him. 

I had only ever seen one movie with a sex scene in it, because my parents had fallen asleep. 

So, what I did next, I had taken directly from that movie. 

I walked toward him, locking my fingers in his hair again, turning him around and pushing up against the wall. 

My lisp flew straight to his neck, and they pressed against his Adam's apple, and I used one hand, while trying not to think about what I was doing, I ran it over the growing bulge in his skinny jeans. 

He moaned, and his Adam's apple vibrated against my lips. 

I knelt down, abandoning his neck and his hair, to unbutton his pants. 

I did it slowly, taking time to un loop the material, and pull down that zipper. 

"Please, Kat, don't tease" and my new name felt great from his lips. 

So I didn't. I pulled his pants down quickly, helping him pull them off his ankles, kicking them to the side with my dress. 

He pulled me up, sitting me on the sink counter. 

He unclasped my bra with ease, taking a moment to massage my breasts, before pulling down my panties. 

And that was the first time, I fucked Brendon Urie.   
|||

I didn't really feel comfortable writing the actual smut, so I wrote some pre smut. 

 

I might write smut later if I become more comfortable with it.   
-Amyy z

 

Edited 3/16/16


	5. I Become Said Stoner Fuck Boys Fuck Buddy

Now that I think back on it, the most unholy thing I did was lose my virginity in the church bathroom. But, at the time, it didn't bother me at all. 

I thought it was hot, if I'm being honest. 

 

Maybe that was more the fact that Brendon was hot, but that's beside the point. 

 

At the time, I didn't even think that walking out of said church bathroom into a room of Brendon, and I guess my, friends, after losing my virginity, pretty loudly, since I'm being honest, was weird. That's just another thing in the list of "I thought it was hot". 

"What time is it?" I asked Dallon as we walked back into the sermon room. 

 

"Uh, 9:48" Dallon replied, hesitantly, seeming confused as to how casual I was after walking out of a public bathroom after they had heard the noise of pain mixed with pleasure I had been making just minutes before. 

 

"Well, I should get going, then, I've never been this late to get home" 

"I'll walk you" Breezy said, standing and picking up her jacket, beginning to pull it on.

 

"No, I've got her" Brendon said from behind me, just being to pull on his leather jacket. 

 

Breezy looked at me, raising an eyebrow, as is to say 'are you sure, you want to be with him any longer'. 

I nodded, and turned back toward Brendon, "shall we then?" 

He shrugged, and we left out the back door. 

"Thanks" I said, before I had the time to think about how stupid it was. 

"For what?" He asked, turning and looking at me.  

"That. Whatever it was" I said, blushing. It seemed, around Brendon, I spent most of my time blushing. 

 

"Oh, yeah" he shrugged, "well, I should be thanking you" 

 

I cocked my head, confused by his words. 

"You said yes" he grinned slightly "I wasn't gonna do it if you said no" 

"I thought I couldn't join your 'group' if I was a virgin?" I said. 

He chuckled, before looking at me, and seeing I was serious, he stopped, and his face became emotionless. 

"Wait, you only did that because, you thought if you didn't, we wouldn't be friends with you?" He said, and a hint of anger seeped through his hard facade. 

"Well, yeah... I guess" I shrugged. 

He groaned, running his hands through his hair. 

"We weren't gonna not like you if you didn't have sex with me!" He exclaimed, turning to completely face me. 

"How the hell was I supposed to know that?" I said, pulling my hands out of my pockets, and raining them up in the air as a potential defense mechanism. I didn't know him that well. 

 

"I had sex with you because I like you" he said. 

"What?" 

"No shit" he sighed "I don't know you, but I know you're hot. If you wanted to be in our group, you could have just said you wanted to stay a virgin. And know I feel like shit because I practically made you have sex with me!" 

"You didn't make me" 

"What?" 

"I've always felt like a 'goody two shoes' whatever the fuck that means. I want to stop being a church girl and be like Breezy. Hot, sexy, and crazy. Not tame. I'm no child of God!"

He sighed again, but this time it was of relief. "You wanna be 'hot, sexy and crazy'?" He asked me, smirking slightly, stepping towards me. 

"Yes" I blushed, and he stood as close to me as possible, using one finger under my chin to pick my face up, and my eyes met his. 

"I can help with that" 

 

"You've got the 'hot' down. You just need to lose the dress and the 'goody two shoes' look" 

"Done." I stopped, "wait. How should I dress?" 

"However you want." He shrugged, pulling away from me to continue walking. 

"Like Breezy?" 

"Sure" he shrugged again. 

"Okay. Black skinny jeans and a low cut top. I can do that." 

"Okay. Oh, by the way, there's a party tomorrow after school, if you wanna come. I can pick you up?" 

"Okay, cool" I shrugged, "what do I wear?" 

"'Black skinny jeans and a low cut top'" he repeated. 

 

"Cool" 

"Phone" he said, extending his palm flat out. 

I pulled out my phone, entering my passcode before putting it in his outstretched hand, watching what he was doing over my shoulder. 

He put his name, and number into my contact list, which was very short. 

He then stopped again, taking out his phone, and test-texting me.   
Once my phone had received his text, he sent me Kenny, Dallon, and Breezy's numbers. 

"Cool." we kept walking, until we reached my street. 

"My house is only two down, and I better get going, my mom will be waiting and if she sees you, I'll be dead" 

"Okay. Ill text you when I'm here. I'll wait here with my car. Probably around 8" 

"Cool. I'll have a new wardrobe ready" 

 

"Bye, Kat" 

"Bye, Brendon"

All I had to do now, was lie to my mom.

 

\---  
Edited 3/16/16


	6. I Become Sexy and MCR AF

After I got home, and tell my mom a lie, "hey mom, I am going to study with my friends tomorrow night, can I spend the night, I'll drive to school", and got ready for bed, I realized I need a plan. I need to be like Breezy. 

Should I start at school? Or at this party? There might be people at the party that are from my school, so maybe I shouldn't start at school. 

Okay, so I need to go to Breezy's house tomorrow to get clothes. 

I pick up my phone from my bedside table and go to my contacts and text Breezy. 

Can I swing by your house tomorrow after school to borrow some clothes? - Kat

She immediately reads it, and I close out the texting app so she doesn't think I'm just waiting for a reply. 

She responds. 

Of course! Around 5? How was the walk home? Did your mom see Brendon? How'd you get my number? -Breezy

I drag down the notification, and text her back. 

5's good. Fine, kinda awkward. No he stopped at my driveway. Anyway, I should go to sleep. Goodnight. 

She immediately responds; Okay, cool. Put a towel on your bed. Goodnight, see ya tomorrow. 

I'm confused why I should put a towel on my bed, but not wanting to seem weird and text her after I already said goodnight, I go to my bathroom, and lay a towel over my bedsheets, plugging my phone in and falling asleep. 

\---

My alarm clocks shrill wake up call arouses me at 7:00 am exactly, just like every other morning. 

I slam my hand down on the 'snooze' button, before throwing my tired body out of my beloved bed. 

I stand up, groan, and stretch. Then, out of the corner of my eye I see a crimson stain catch my eye. 

I recognized it, of course. But as I glanced at my calendar, and saw that it was the 15 of December, I was confused. I already had my period for the month. 

And how the hell did Breezy know that I was gonna bleed. 

Must have somethings do with losing my 'v card'. Huh. 

 

I pick up the towel, and bring it to my sink, filling it with water and putting the towel in to soak. 

I jump in the shower, letting the warm water soothe my tight muscles, and wash away the rest of the blood. 

When I'm out, I put on my normal school clothes, and I walk downstairs. 

 

I ask my dad to borrow the car, so I don't have to walk to Breezy's house, and he allows it, so I drive to school. 

\----

The day's passes uneventfully, and I find myself not paying attention in class for the first time. 

After school, at about 4:45 I text Breezy to send me her address. 

She does, and I use Maps to get to her house.

(A/N: Not the Maroon 5 song btw)

 

I show up at her house, and I am amazed. 

Her home is beautiful, and huge. 

I have no idea what to say, as I knock on the door, and I'm greeted by a smiling Breezy, wearing no makeup. 

"Hey, you're here!" She keeps smiling, inviting me in. 

I walk in. 

Her dome ceiling are blue, beautifully matching the light brown walls. 

"Your house is beautiful, Breeze" I say, smiling, still looking around in awe. 

"Thanks! You're too sweet. And I like that, 'Breeze'. It's cute. My room is up here"

Her room is the same size as her huge ass living room. 

I walk in timidly, and sit down silently on her California-King size bed. 

"3 hours until the party." She says, pulling out her phone, "I'm telling Brendon I'm bringing you."

"Okay." I don't really know what to say. 

"Sarah is going to be at the party tonight. We have to distract Brendon, with you" 

Oh. 

"You have to look sexy as fuck" 

Oh. 

"Clothes first. My closet is in here" 

There's another section of her room, which is a couch, big enough to seat at least 6, and a set of French style double-doors. 

She grabs my hand, and pulls me into the closet. 

\---  
The monochrome aesthetic of her closet is so pleasing, I feel my my stomach clench with anticipation. What the hell is she gonna make me wear? 

"Here ya go" she hands me a bra and matching underwear. 

The bra is a black lace push up, and the matching lace panties and "sexy as fuck" in Breezy's words. 

"Okay" I say, still in slight shock.

I start to walk out of the closet, but Breezy interrupts me by closing the doors. 

"We don't have time to be shy. I won't look" and she turns back to looking through what looked like hundreds of clothes. 

I begin to strip, and pull of my bra and underwear, scared the red stain will be all over the pad I put on this morning, but I discover my panties are clean, and I grin as I pull on the sexy underwear. 

I look at myself in the full length mirror. 

Seeing myself like this makes me feel different, better. 

I don't feel like "Katherine" I feel like "Kat". 

My long black hair falling gracefully down my shoulders, and my pale skin making the black, well, everything, so far, makes me look good. My blue eyes and red lips tie it all together. 

 

"Here!" Breezy screeches from behind me, and I turn around, to have a black dress shoved against me. 

"It's perfect! Come on, put it on!" 

I pull it on, and look in the mirror again. 

I'm wearing a very slimming, very short little black dress, with triangular cut outs around the cleavage. 

It barely covers anything, but that's fine.

"Cool, now time for your hair" Breezy says, leading me away from the mirror and to a vanity in a smaller corner of her closet. 

She pulls out straighteners, and curling irons. She takes my messy, frizzy locks with some spray and the straighter, then begins to curl the ends neatly. 

She sprays my new ringlets with hair spray, and then moved onto makeup.   
She spins the chair so I'm not facing any mirrors and begins to work.   
///  
Edited 3/16/16


	7. Champagne, Cocaine, Gasoline

A/N: I've decided i want the song for this book to be "Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time" hence the chapter title. 

I try to just relax, and not think about the party, or Brendon.   
But of course that doesn't work, so about 15 minutes into the long process of makeup, I ask her, "Can you play music? I need a distraction." 

"Sure. But no looking" she turns away and goes back into her bedroom, and I obey, locking my eyes on her light blue and gold wallpaper. 

She comes back in with her phone and a speaker, and she hooks it up, and the intro to a song I have never heard comes on. 

It's not that hard to find a song I don't know. At home, I'm into allowed to listen to Christian music. 

"What song is this?" I ask, as she resumes her work on my face. 

"Dead! By My Chemical Romance. They're my favorite band." She says, no emo(tion) crossing her face. 

"Have you seen them in concert?" 

Suddenly, she stops working, and looks at the wall. 

"Are you fucking joking Kat? I am a sad emo. Let me live in peace!" She seems pretty upset, so I stop talking about it, muttering a quick apology.

 

When she's finally finished with her makeup job, she starts on my hair, and I do my best to get lost in the music, and I find myself liking it. 

She's finished, and she starts on herself, while I sit and stare at the wall, hoping my anxiety about the party will go away. It doesn't. 

\---  
The night passes and at 8 Brendon picks Breezy and I up. 

He looks good. Like really good. 

He's wearing black skinny jeans, and a plain black shirt, with a shiny dark metallic blazer shrugged over it. 

His hair is styled in his usual style, but tonight it has a more polished look. 

 

We arrive at the party, and I climb out of the car, with Breezy, and I hear Brendon whoop and walk over to a black truck.

Breezy and I enter the house, and I take in the smell. 

"That's weed, vodka, champagne, cocaine, gasoline, and sex. Cherish it." she says, a smug smile on her face.

She drags me further into the house, through a bunch of dancing, drinking, smoking and snorting people. We find a table with a plastic table cloth covering it, and she pours two beers into two Solo cups and hands me one, taking a drink of her own. "That'll get ya started. Assuming this is your first time drinking, excluded the red wine at communion, you should drink slow"

I nod, and take a slow, shallow drink of the beer, and it burns my tongue, and the back of my throat, but I drink another small sip, and, while it was probably subconscious, I feel a slight buzz in my veins. 

Breezy takes me free hand, and pulls me to a corner where Dallon, Spencer, and a boy I don't recognize are crowded around Brendon. Amazingly, they all already have drinks of their own. 

"Hey, guys" Breezy says, and let's go of my hand, wrapping her arm around my shoulders instead. 

"Hey Breeze'" the boy I don't recognize says, "Who's this?" He steps toward me. 

"This" Breezy pushes my toward the boy slightly, letting go of my shoulders, "is Kat"

"Nice to meet you, Kat. I'm Ed" he smiles, and he steps toward me, giving me a half smile, and I realize how god damn attractive he is. 

 

"Hi" I feel myself blush, and he chuckles, before someone clears there throat. 

Brendon steps in between us, taking my cup and taking a swig of the beer Breezy gave me.   
"Oh this is good. Do you like it, Kat?" He asks, handing back my cup. 

"Yeah, I do." 

"Cool, I wanna smoke, you?"   
But he doesn't wait for my answer, and he grabs my hand, dragging my toward a strange, significant smell. 

Another male teenager, who's eyes are red and is holding what looks like a cigarette, gives Brendon an awkward side-hug, and hand Brendon the, well I'm assuming it's a cigarette. 

"What is that?" I say as Brendon takes a drag of it, and his eyes immediately become watery, and he grins. "Weed"  
That's when I panic. A/N: (Shut up) 

I ran, out of the house, away from it. Away from them. Away from everything. 

Outside, I sat in the grass, as far away from the house as I could get without leaving the property. 

About 15 minutes passed in silence besides the pounding music I could still hear from where I was. 

I heard some footsteps, and expecting it to just be another drunk couple going home, I pulled my knees up to my chest, and rested my forehead on them. 

But when I heard a familiar voice say, "You okay, Kat?", I looked up to find Brendon sitting down beside me. 

"Just, I don't know, overwhelmed, I guess" I sighed, wrapping my arms around my drawn up legs. 

"I know how you feel, the drinking is one thing, but the fuckers snorting cocaine, that's a completely different lifestyle than mine. I'm not a druggie." Brendon said, setting his beer down on the grass, copying my position, and leaning into me slightly. 

"How do you handle this?" I asked. 

"I don't know" Brendon said, and went silent. 

A few minutes passed before he sighed and said, "I should tell you this" he said, like he didn't really want to. 

"What?" I said, lifting my head to meet his eyes. 

The deep chocolate brown of them were relaxing, and I felt my whole aura shift. I calmed down. 

"I have anxiety." He said, and I felt him subconsciously lean further into me. 

"Oh" was all I could say. 

"It's hard, for me sometimes, but you know, I'm better now" he stopped abruptly, like he had said too much. He had said just enough. 

"Good"

We sat in silence for a while, before he grabbed his beer and stood up, "you're my date, and I'm not going in alone, we can go home or back in. Your choice?" 

He reached his hand out, wiggling his fingers and grinning. 

I grabbed his hand, and he pulled me up, grinning. 

"Let's go in. I need a drink"

\--  
Edited 3/16/16


	8. Ryan Ross Mixes Milk with His Vodka

Going back into the party was the last thing I would ever think of doing if it wasn't for Brendon Urie.

He had ruined me. Completely and utterly ruined everything I was and everything I believed in and stood for. 

And, for some odd reason, I loved it.

I was realizing how exciting life can be if you're not only focusing on how many times you've prayed that day, and if God is going to forgive you for the sin you obviously committed.

 

He was so fun to be around, that I didn't realize how far in a downward spiral my life was going.

For some reason, when I was around him, I just forgot about my responsibilities, and let go.

When we re-entered, it was like his alter ego I had seen outside had disappeared. He was back to being a fuck boy, and I was about to leave when someone grabbed my arm. 

Dallon. 

"Yeah?" I said, annoyed, turning to face him, huffing and ripping my arm from his grasp. 

"Someone wants to talk to you" he said, nodding in the direction of a guy leaned up against the wall, his gaze on me, inviting me over. 

"Oh" 

He was, well, attractive.   
His hair was brown and slightly curly. His eyes matched. His face was round, with a baby face that somehow was very attractive. 

I walked over, remembering what I looked like right now. I was sexy. He probably just wanted to sleep with me. 

"Hey, I'm Kat" I said, crossing my arms, remembering these people weren't like my church friends. Shaking hands probably wouldn't fit in here. 

"Nah. You're not Kat. More of a, I don't know, Katrina?" He said, and his words made my mouth fall open. How could he tell? 

"Um, just call me Kat" I choked out awkwardly. 

"You have to earn my real name" I followed up, remembering to be sexy. 

He laughed, and it made me feel small, strange. More out of place. 

"No, 'Kat'" he said, "You're with Urie over there. He ain't gonna let me earn anything from you" 

I flushed bright red, and he extended his hand.   
"Ryan Ross" 

"Katherine Walkers" I said, clasping his hand and shaking it. 

"So, what's a pretty girl like you doing at one of these shit hole parties?" He asks, letting go of my hand and leaning back up against the wall. "Especially with Urie" he mumbles. 

"He dragged me along." I said, not stating that I was having a mostly horrible time. 

"HEY, KAT, BRENDON'S LOOKING FOR YOU!" Breezy screamed in my ear suddenly, making me jump violently. 

"Oh shit, okay" I said, waving at Ryan. "Sorry" I mouthed, letting Breezy drag me back toward Brendon. 

He had two Solo cups in hand, and I grab one. 

He pulls me by my waist, pulling me into him, pressing his lips against my ear. 

"Sarah is over there, she hasn't looked yet, so" he pauses, biting my ear, "Dance with me" 

I take a drink. 

I loop my arms around his neck, and he pressed his face into my neck. "She's watching" 

"Good" I say, pulling back and pressings my lips to his jawline, "All mine tonight" 

 

I pull back, and arch my body into his. 

"Damn, Kat" he moans, and I immediately feel myself flush, and I press my lips to his collar bone. 

"We might have to go to the bathroom again, Kat" and I laugh in his ear, and take a drink. 

"Maybe we will" I wink, and bite my lip.

He moans again, and pulls my hips into him. 

We sway, and drink, and grind, until I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look up. 

A girl with brown hair, brown eyes, cropped short, curled in towards her face. She was gorgeous. 

"May I cut in?" She said, completely polite. 

"Um," I mumble, looking at Brendon briefly. 

"I like my girl, Sarah" he says, and I press my fave further in his neck, kissing it. 

She huffs and walks over to a random guy, wrapping around him, and copying my movements, eyes locked on Brendon. 

"I can do something that'll make her mad. Want me too?" I ask him. 

"Yeah" he looks breathless.   
I turn us, so I'm facing her, and I lean into his ear and say loudly, "I love you, babe" 

He gasps, and I have to regain my composure.  
He turns us again, and says back.   
"I love you too, Kat" 

When I finally catch a glimpse of her face, she looks like she's gonna kill me and cry at the same time. Mission accomplished. 

"Good job" 

"Bathroom?" I ask. 

"Bathroom." He states. 

-  
Sorry I've been MIA. I am back


End file.
